Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize