I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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