Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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