you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
