Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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