i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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