Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
