We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
