Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
