i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Blood and glitter go together right?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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