We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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