I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
