This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
