dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
