Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
