She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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