Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
