Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
