i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
