Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
