You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
