i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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