omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
