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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.

  Fav 42 2484 921

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"

  Fav 26 6435 1131

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

  Fav 23 1814 3081

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

  Fav 16 4216 907

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

  Fav 13 874 4007

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

  (760): View more from California

  Wow.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

  Fav 11 3870 1692

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...

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• (646): View more from New York

  She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.

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• (+63): View more from

  I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often

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