is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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