i can't believe i had my finger in that
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
