We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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