I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
