I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
