Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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