i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
