I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize