I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
