At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
