I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
