How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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