i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
