i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
