I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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