You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
