i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
