Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
