if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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