do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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