she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need to calm my uterus...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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