I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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