I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
