I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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