His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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