Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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